Because Some People are Better Off Dead
And I'm the man to unalive them
The Profession with the Body Part here! Do you need someone unalived? Well I'm just the guy to do it! For a price of course, you're mom's not cheap after all.

Always accepting drabble prompts.

A proud member of the Assvengers

Icon by Diableret (Diableret.tumblr.com)
  • betteroffdeadpool Mouthed at the Merc:

    "Be my Queen."

    slan-the-wise:

    "And what can you offer me, mercenary, to quench my thirst and satisfy my lust? You think you’re worthy enough?"

    "Probably not, but you know how everyone is kinda allergic to death? Yeah, not me. I got my shots and now I’m completely immune. So there’s that."

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  • God damn it.

    God damn it.

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  • Munday, Dora the Explora Edition

    Just after I donated my hair. Trust me, it looked worse in person.

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  • sobasicallyimafreak:

    sobasicallyimafreak:

    These pictures were taken literally 24 hours apart

    Excuse me I think you forgot to reblog my selfies

    Just some doofus mun hangs out with. 

    I don’t know who the fellow on the right is, but I know the guy on the left.

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  • I opened tumblr in a different google tab. It seems to be working.

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  • //There’s a good chance I’m gonna change my mind about that within like five minutes, but I’m really gonna try to just… be less of a pain in the ass? For lack of a better term.

    On the plus side it looks like I can make text posts again so hopefully I’ll be rping again soon.

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  • If you want to kill yourself, kill what you don’t like. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself too, but that doesn’t mean you got to stop living.
    Archie’s Final Project. Dir. David Lee Miller. (via wordsnquotes)    
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  • 1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

    2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

    3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

    4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

    5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

    6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

    7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

    8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

    9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

    10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

    Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)    
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  • metaneira:

gallopingtormaunt:

I’m not posting this ironically or as a joke. I think this is an important part of love and trust.

superman gave batman a kryptonite ring in case superman ever goes nuts and needs to be taken down

    metaneira:

    gallopingtormaunt:

    I’m not posting this ironically or as a joke. I think this is an important part of love and trust.

    superman gave batman a kryptonite ring in case superman ever goes nuts and needs to be taken down

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