Because Some People are Better Off Dead
And I'm the man to unalive them
The Profession with the Body Part here! Do you need someone unalived? Well I'm just the guy to do it! For a price of course, you're mom's not cheap after all.

Always accepting drabble prompts.

A proud member of the Assvengers

Icon by Diableret (Diableret.tumblr.com)
  • 120103
    1 hour ago reblog
  • 34
    2 hours ago reblog
  • 294
    2 hours ago reblog
  • 1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

    2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

    3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

    4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

    5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

    6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

    7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

    8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

    9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

    10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

    Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)    
    135523
    2 hours ago reblog
  • 4 hours ago reblog
  • 2
    6 hours ago reblog
  • metaneira:

gallopingtormaunt:

I’m not posting this ironically or as a joke. I think this is an important part of love and trust.

superman gave batman a kryptonite ring in case superman ever goes nuts and needs to be taken down

    metaneira:

    gallopingtormaunt:

    I’m not posting this ironically or as a joke. I think this is an important part of love and trust.

    superman gave batman a kryptonite ring in case superman ever goes nuts and needs to be taken down

    170274
    6 hours ago reblog
  • 26
    6 hours ago reblog
  • iamyourreckoning:

THIS PRECIOUS GIANT BABY HAS A GINGER MUSTACHE KILL ME

    iamyourreckoning:

    THIS PRECIOUS GIANT BABY HAS A GINGER MUSTACHE KILL ME

    27
    1 day ago reblog
  • 1175
    1 day ago reblog
  • 2
    1 day ago reblog
  • dscourage:

    the problem with me is that i care too much about what others think of me & it literally kills me 

    230771
    1 day ago reblog
  • triplash:

    binart:

    TODAY ON, “I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS INTO THAT.”

    image

    THE TERRIFYING JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY

    178002
    1 day ago reblog
  • 3443
    1 day ago reblog
  • zodiaccity:

Zodiac Files: How To Seduce A Capricorn.

    zodiaccity:

    Zodiac Files: How To Seduce A Capricorn.

    998
    1 day ago reblog