Because Some People are Better Off Dead
And I'm the man to unalive them
The Profession with the Body Part here! Do you need someone unalived? Well I'm just the guy to do it! For a price of course, you're mom's not cheap after all.

Always accepting drabble prompts.

A proud member of the Assvengers

Icon by Diableret (Diableret.tumblr.com)
  • pravxm:

    THE ARKHAM KNIGHT IS ALFRED. CALLING IT NOW.

    Nope.

    They wouldn’t make a game impossible to beat,

    No one would survive Alfred. They’d just avoid death for a few seconds.

    9
    11 hours ago reblog
  • Friendly reminder that my muse is not immutable. Over time their attitude, behavior, and headcanons may change. Their opinions or standings may not always be the same. I am not twisting my muse out of character by changing their opinions, I am giving them a fucking relatable quality because none of us are immutable and won’t always have the same opinion of everything.

    1337
    11 hours ago reblog
  • Anonymous Mouthed at the Merc:

    lol not a fan of the wade x mexican food thing?

    deadpoolexpress:

    Deadpool likes fast-food, don’t get me wrong.

    It’s CHIMICHANGA’S EVERYWHERE LOL FAVORITE FOOD EVERYWHERE that gets old.

    In canon - legit canon - he does not like chichanga’s.

    It seems fandom has exploded with Wade is a dumbass who loves chimichanga’s and breaks the fourth wall on a second-to-second basis instead of the many other wonderful aspects to his character. 

    4
    13 hours ago reblog
  • lady-redrum:

    wasthatnotsideblog:

    just gonna say this: if someone has social anxiety and they ask you something akin to ‘are you mad at me’ or ‘do you hate me’, it isn’t because they don’t trust you, it’s because their brain literally tells them that all the time

    it’s not a personal slight, it’s insecurity caused by mental illness

    thanks

    TAKE NOTE.

    281553
    14 hours ago reblog
  • 280
    14 hours ago reblog
  • cantafee:

    So I saw her a couple days ago and needed to draw her

    267
    18 hours ago reblog
  • SEND ME ONE . . .
    $ : My character will react to your character winning mine after a long bidding war with another bidder where the price got pretty high.
    ✖ : My character will react to your character getting into a bidding war with someone but eventually giving up and letting my character be bought by the other person.
    ‼ : My character will react to yours paying an enormous sum for them that they know yours can't truly pay.
    ⁇ : My character will react to your character buying them only after a long and awkward pause where no one else was bidding.
    ✔ : My character will react to yours buying them... along with buying another of the people up for auction!
    ⊙ : My character will react to yours buying somebody else and not having bid for them at all.
    ➨+ : Send this symbol coupled with any of the others and my character will react as if situations were reversed and yours was the one up "for bid."
    4563
    18 hours ago reblog
  • adxptable:

    paging doctor Matthew

    has anyone seen doctor Matthew

    I’M HERE!!

    I’m sorry… 

    I suck………

    2
    18 hours ago reblog
  • kaospersona Mouthed at the Merc:

    "Why is your flower a dandelion?"

    "It’s a weed that will keep coming back no matter how hard you try to kill it. Also it’s pretty."

    4
    2 days ago reblog
  • Reblog and fill in the answers you most associate your character with to each question.

    01. Animal; Wolf
    02. Color; Red
    03. Month; June
    04. Song; Everything Louder than Everything Else by Meat Loaf
    05. Number; 11
    06. Day or Night; Night.
    07. Plant; Dandelion
    08. Smell; Misery and Tacos

    09. Gemstone; Ruby
    10. Season; Oregano
    11. Place; New York
    12. Food; Pancakes
    13. Astrological Sign; Cancer
    14. Element(s); Lead
    15. Drink; Yes

    2250
    2 days ago reblog
  • betteroffdeadpool Mouthed at the Merc:

    Ѡ

    notawitch:

    Send an "Ѡ" for my muse's reaction to being sent accidental nudes.

    [text] STOP THAT

    [text] YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

    [text] I NEED AN ADULT HERE

    [text] OH MY GOD

    [text] I NEED NEW EYES

    [text] I no its not what it used to b but i thout u still liked seeing me all sexy

    [text] YOU ARE NOT BOBBI!!!

    [text] GET OUT OF MY PONE!!

    [text] THESE ARE NOT FOR YOU TO HAVE!!!!

    [text] I SWEAR THOSE TOYS ARE JUST THERE AS A JOKE!!

    [text] YOU DO NOT NEED NEW EYES, I’M NOT THAT BAD!!

    3
    3 days ago reblog
  • Been kind of MIA lately with my internet being gone and moving, but hopefully I will be on more often now. So, weeee.

    5
    3 days ago reblog
  • nidoranduran:

    lyraeon:

    patrickat:

    lyraeon:

    Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.

    GM: “Roll 2d10.”
    Peter:…

    14484
    3 days ago reblog
  • betteroffdeadpool Mouthed at the Merc:

    [Break your muse in 15 words] "I can't be a daddy... So I... put something in your food to... 'unpregnant' you..."

    adxptable:

    "You—

    YOU WHAT?”

    Wade couldn’t even look her in the eye. “I told you it was your hormones making food taste like crap, and that I was making all that food because I love both of you, and that you just had morning sickness. I lied.”

    3
    4 days ago reblog
  • 61012
    4 days ago reblog