Because Some People are Better Off Dead
And I'm the man to unalive them
The Profession with the Body Part here! Do you need someone unalived? Well I'm just the guy to do it! For a price of course, you're mom's not cheap after all.

Always accepting drabble prompts.

A proud member of the Assvengers

Icon by Diableret (Diableret.tumblr.com)
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  • jphani:

    do u ever miss a friend but u don’t want to tell them bc they’re probably doing perfectly fine without u and to them it probably doesn’t even matter and so u don’t want them to think ur annoying or needy

    70272
    11 hours ago reblog
  • 
Steve cannot watch WWII movies, with the exception of Band of Brothers, because of the inaccuracies. He can’t watch Band of Brothers because he doesn’t want anybody to see him cry.

So… can he or can’t he?

    Steve cannot watch WWII movies, with the exception of Band of Brothers, because of the inaccuracies. He can’t watch Band of Brothers because he doesn’t want anybody to see him cry.

    So… can he or can’t he?

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  • betteroffdeadpool Mouthed at the Merc:

    [Bubbles] Wade opened the door wearing just his mask and his undies, figuring Bobbi wouldn't mind if he showered at her place. He didn't even consider that she'd be in there, but was glad he had his nice heart boxers on when he stepped in. "Bobbi!" Wade covered his eyes, but after about two seconds remembered that she probably wouldn't mind him looking, or at least that he'd risk it. "Is that... Is that a bubble beard? I never would have thought it your style, but you pull it off well."

    agentmorse:

    betteroffdeadpool:

    agentmorse:

    betteroffdeadpool

    Your muse finds mine in a bathtub, playing with bubbles. How does yours react?

    The blonde had been enjoying her bath since it was the first time in a long time that she got the chance to take a bath rather than a quick shower. Wade walking in was unexpected. “It might be,” she mumbled. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were away?” Not that she wasn’t happy to see him.

    "Mhmm." Wade replied, just a tad preoccupied with getting as close to Bobbi as physically possible. "You know, I wouldn’t have complained if a certain blonde decided to join me." He flirted.

    He continued, now with a sarcastic tone as opposed to a sexual one, “Then again, I have no idea why Captain Marvel would even be here but it’s the thought that counts.”

    "Carol better not be anywhere near you while you’re in the shower," she muttered. "You do smell much better now which is good." Bobbi would not have gotten into that shower with Wade right after he got home from a job. Too much blood and bodily fluids that did not belong to him. The next shower he took might be a different story.

    Wade kissed her cheek and grinned. “Don’t you worry, you always get dibs on being the first person to hop in with me and help me scrub my back. And if she or anyone else swung by to be the second person to hop in with me and you than me and you can talk about it.” Wade teased and held her close to him, hoping that she knew how much she means to him.

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  • betteroffdeadpool Mouthed at the Merc:

    [First impression.] "Oh great, yet another tight assed SHIELD bitch that wants to save the world. And she's even a doctor! Whoopee..."

    agentmorse:

    betteroffdeadpool:

    agentmorse:

    betteroffdeadpool

    "Thanks Wade."

    "Well… You’re not as naive as I gave you credit for. You’re a hell of a lot more than just any SHIELD agent. I’d make that ‘whoopee’ from earlier much less sarcastic. And I guess I can forgive you for the whole doctor thing, everybody’s got a fault or two."

    "I am very aware of your stance on doctors and my doctorate." Bobbi smiled softly up at him. They never really talked about it much, but the blonde knew how much he disliked doctors and scientists. It was understandable, really.

    "Well… it looks nice on you. The doctor thing I mean." Wade rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. It’s not that he wanted to make her feel bad for what she did, or even that it changed how he felt about her. It was just… an unpleasant reminder.

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  • CRAP

    I’m having trouble with my thread tracking website and now I don’t know what to do.

    1 day ago reblog
  • mistressmothernature Mouthed at the Merc:

    Sycamore

    Sycamore: Curiosity

    "I am an interesting subject."

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  • doctorkiebeth Mouthed at the Merc:

    Rose (Orange)

    Orange Rose: Fascination

    "Uh-Oh" “Oh, that’s nice.”

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  • kaospersona Mouthed at the Merc:

    [flower meme] *offers a geranium and mimosa*

    Geranium: True Friendship
    Mimosa: Secret Admirer

    Wade takes the flowers. 

    "Sweet. Maybe they’ll help out my apartment. Can’t make it look much worse."

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  • judge-c-anderson Mouthed at the Merc:

    SYCAMORE

    Sycamore: Curiosity

    "Can’t say I blame you, but you know what they say about cats and curiosity don’t you?"

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  • I’m probably gonna change my mind and it might just be the season getting to me, but I’ve been strongly considering bringing back my Hades account.

    sassiesandsmark

    mintynaiad

    Figured I’d tag you two because we RPed together, if only a little. :)

    Someone talk me out of it.

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